Strip clubs are the least of Detroit’s problems. Besides, we could use the jobs


I say let ’em strip.

It’s been about a month since I saw any stories in the papers about the latest moral indignation uprising against strip clubs in Detroit, but last I heard the City Council was supposed to be debating whether or not to implement a crackdown. From what’s been reported, if the tightened regulations get approved then customers will most likely have to return to the back alleys to get their groins polished since lap dances will no longer be allowed, plus strippers will have to be kept at least six feet away from customers on  a slightly elevated platform. And that’s just for starters.

I haven’t been in a strip club in more than 20 years, and don’t have any particular burning desire to return. Personally, I never could fathom the attraction of drooling over a fine-looking naked lady gyrating on a stage if I had to share the view with a roomful of other spectators and couldn’t put my hands on her. As for lap dances? Yeah, well. It was entertaining the first few times I went as a kid with my buddies as a right of passage sort of thing. But hey, once the beast gets stirred up, tossing dollar bills on stage or stuffing them in somebody’s garter just isn’t the level of satisfaction I


require.  Let’s just say I’m a hands-on kinda guy. I’ll leave it at that.

But look, this neverending – and completely futile – battle against cashing in on men’s sexual urges in the name of morality is little more than comical. In some ways it’s better entertainment than what you’re likely to see in any one of these clubs. Supposedly outraged pastors and other religious types join together with similarly ‘outraged’ politicians who suddenly discover an aversion to questionable behavior. Go to just about any city in the nation where there are strip clubs and you’ll see this same drama getting re-enacted time after time after time.

Look, this drama has been going on ever since Eve did her first bump and grind for Adam, and anybody who seriously believes that sex entertainment will ever be erased from society to make way for some puritanical definition of morality has a lot to learn about the basic nature of mankind – and about certain politicians. And about certain preachers.

So let them strip, and grind, and whatever. I have no problem whatsoever with restricting where such clubs can be located, and there definitely need to be enforceable rules in place because whenever you combine strippers with alcohol and the male sex drive you had better have some Hulk-sized bouncers in place to make sure that what needs to be enforced gets enforced. Upside somebody’s head if necessary.

But at the end of the day? Men will always pay for sex, and that’s just what is, has always been, and will always be. Not all men, to be sure, but enough that there is no law on earth strong enough to prevent it just like there’s no law on earth strong enough to put an end to the sex drive. It can be a dirty business to be sure, but then I think most adults will concur that sex clubs are hardly the only dirty business around, nor are they by any stretch of the imagination the dirtiest. I’d rather get screwed by a hooker than by (name your disgraced Wall Street corporation here) any day of the week.

Sex is a wonderful thing, but it’s not up to anyone to tell someone else how they should indulge their urge so long as that indulgence isn’t harming anyone else. And if someone wants to pay to satisfy that urge and someone else doesn’t mind getting paid to satisfy it? Let live.

Because in the age when so many companies are disappearing or downsizing, sex is the one business that will always be hiring. And right about now we don’t need to be discovering our morals at the expense of somebody else’s paycheck unless we’ve got another equal paying job ready and waiting in the wings.

But even if you did have that equal job, what damned business is it of yours anyway?

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux


~ by Keith A. Owens on November 3, 2009.

2 Responses to “Strip clubs are the least of Detroit’s problems. Besides, we could use the jobs”

  1. Yep, sums up my view completely.

  2. Hey Cynical.

    Kinda figured we might see eye to eye on that one.

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