What if Joe the Plumber had been Abdul the Plumber?

And then it hit me: What if Joe the Plumber had been Abdul the Plumber? Or Hassan?

I mean seriously, can you see John McCain tooling around the country in his Straight Talk Express on an “Abdul the Plumber” excursion with the same desperate, manufactured enthusiasm that’s powering his current “Joe the Plumber Tour”?

Which takes me back to perhaps the most significant thing Gen. Colin Powell said when he endorsed Barack Obama on Meet the Press, aside from the endorsement itself, when he questioned why it would have even mattered if Barack Obama was a Muslim in the first place? After making it very clear that Obama is not now – nor has he ever been – a Muslim, and that he has always been a Christian, Powell raised the point that even the Democrats – even Obama’s own campaign – has been ducking.

What’s wrong with being a Muslim in America?

Yeah, OK, the guys who crashed the plane into the Twin Towers were Muslims. But what about Timothy McVeigh? This twisted little terrorist was about as non-Muslim as you can get. And not only that, McVeigh was actually from a corner of that  “Real America” that Palin adores where everybody sleeps under the flag with their guns tucked between their legs while reading passages from the bible, speaking in tongues, and eating apple pie.

Judging by those standards, McVeigh is definitely Palin’s kinda guy, just like “Old Joe” Vogler, that wacked-out founder of the secessionist Alaskan Independence Party, is Palin’s kinda guy. That same secessionist party that her husband belonged to for several years until recently. That same secessionist party that she encouraged to “keep up the good work” earlier this year in a televised address as Alaska’s governor. You may have read that Vogler repeatedly, openly, and vocally declared his hatred of the United States of America that Palin swears she loves so much (click on video above).

Here's to you, Sarah. Hell, you too, John.

Oh wait a minute. OK. Now I get it. When Ole Joe said that he hated America and wanted Alaska to secede from the union? He must have been talking about that evil, unpatriotic Satan-worshipping America that’s got poor widdle Sarah so worked up. The New York America.  The San Francisco America. All those great big wickedly scary liberal places that munch on heartland folk for snacks.

That’s the America ole Joe wanted to secede from, right, Sarah? He didn’t mean your small towns at all, right? He just meant those Americas where plumbers would never have names like Abdul or Hassan. Because, after all, we all know Joe, right? Hell, every American knows somebody named Joe. Joe is a name we can pronounce. “Joe” creates images of familiarity and regular beer-drinking guys down at the corner bar. Guys like Norm. Sammy. Cliff. Guys like, well, Joe the Plumber!

Not that we know whether or not Joe actually goes to the corner bar or drinks or bowls. Hell, we don’t know what the guy does for fun. But the point is that he looks like the kinda All-American Average Joe who does All American Average Joe kinda things.

And in the end, that’s really all that really matters, isn’t it?

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blogs @ The “D” Spot Redeux and BlackLiberalBoomer.

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~ by Keith A. Owens on October 28, 2008.

3 Responses to “What if Joe the Plumber had been Abdul the Plumber?”

  1. Great post.

  2. Well you hit that nail on the head with the head of the hammer! Great post!

  3. Mike and Sojourner,

    Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks as always for visiting.

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