Just Fred


Just Call Me Fred 

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.  So
 he asks the man his name.
 “Fred,” he replies.

 “Fred what?” the officer asks.

 “Just Fred,” the man responds.

 The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the  fellow
 a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.

 The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him  that
 he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks  that he has
 a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

 “Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

 The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”

 “I was born Fred Dingaling. I know — a funny last name. The kids  used
 to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard,  and got
 good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to  be a doctor.
 I went through college, medical school, internship,  residency, and
 finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”

 “After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back  to
 school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school,  got my
 degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”

 “Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my
 assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS,
 with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my
 DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out
 about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took  away
 my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took  away my
 Dingaling, so now I am just Fred.”

 The officer walked away in tears, laughing.


~ by Keith A. Owens on August 16, 2007.

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