But we already knew that the Republicans would do whatever they could to blow up the health care reform bill. Anybody who was shocked by that has apparently gotten their news channel confused with their cartoon channel.

So yeah. Of course they did. The more fearful they become that health care reform could actually happen, and weighing the consequences of what such a dramatic achievement could do for the standing of President Barack Obama, they stayed up late nights figuring out where to aim their next shot because they were beginning to run low on bullets. And that’s when our resident village idiot from Michigan, Rep. Bart Stupak, came up with the abortion tactic. He and his crew decided that the best way to peel votes away from this thing in the House was to throw up  a smoke screen using the Republicans’ age-old favorite issue of abortion. Rather than coming out and saying they simply must derail health care reform and President Obama by any means necessary (because the polls show Obama’s popularity is back up again and a majority of Americans are strongly in favor of health care reform) the decision was made to instead say, “Hey, I just can’t support a bill that might provide federal funds to abortion. Nothing against health care or that Obama guy, but we simply must stand up for these unborn kids.”

And 64 so-called Democrats actually fell in line behind that shit. And that, my friends, is the real and true shocker. Because it exposes the Achille’s heel of this supposed Democratic majority on the Hill, namely that it is not a true majority in any shape or form. The Democratic party is infected by a host of fake Democrats, many of whom are so conservative that one has to wonder why they got on board our boat in the first place. Or why we welcomed them aboard. I mean, I’d rather have 50 team members I knew I could count on than 64 who had knives pulled and aimed at the lower portion of my spine. That’s not exactly what you’d call team comraderie.

And Stupak apparently figured that out and went to work building that revelation into the design of his political grenade, which regrettably forces me to re-evaluate my assessment of him as a village idiot. Because that was a pretty deft political move, Bart. Evil as hell, but most definitely the kind of cold hard politics we’ve all come to love about Washington.

So just to make sure we’re clear; this isn’t about saving the unborn at all.  This isn’t even about opposition to health care reform. Not really. This is about strangling Obama’s agenda in its crib before it can get up and walk. So somebody had better set some traps inside that crib. Either that or make sure baby is packing heat.

Do ya feel lucky punk? Go ahead. Fuck with my health care. Go 'head.

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux

On Thursday, an Army doctor of Arab descent went crazy in Fort Hood, Texas and went on a killing spree. In the process he murdered 13 people and wounded 30 others. That much everybody has already heard about, and will continue to hear about, for at least another week or so given the way the news works these days.

But there was a related story that, relatively speaking, kept poking its head above the surface not quite a day later. Did you notice how Arab American organizations from coast to coast suddenly felt compelled to apologize on behalf of Muslims the world over for the crazed act of this one sick and twisted individual? Seemed like every time I saw another update story about the tragedy, there was yet another Arab ’spokesperson’ emphatically pointing out how patriotic most American Muslims are, how they have served and continue to serve honorably in the armed services, and how they should please, please, please not be judged by the actions of this one man.

Am I patriotic enough for you yet?

And that’s when I began to wonder why that should have even been necessary, because any reasonable human being should know that no way in hell are all Arabs responsible for the behavior of one Arab idiot. Did white people feel a sudden compulsion to apologize when Timothy McVeigh pulled his little prank blowing up the Federal Building in Oklahoma City? Did they suddenly feel threatened and under scrutiny? Worried about what their neighbors might say or do out of retaliation?

Hell no.

Even us black folks, who can certainly identify with race guilt reflex action which kicks in automatically every time a member of the race acts up, don’t have to appear on every news program to defend ourselves every time one of us does something really crazy. That doesn’t mean we can’t still feel the chill whenever a black person commits a hugely publicized horrible act, but for the most part we aren’t much required to rush our defensive team strategists down to the studio anymore.  However we still haven’t quite gotten past cringing whenever we hear news of something gruesome, holding our collective breath in silent prayer that “Please, God, don’t let him be black.”

Saying all this to say that 9/11  may have just made a repeat performance on 10/5. Or to paraphrase Michael Corleone in the worst of the Godfather trilogy, “Just when we thought we was out, they pull us back in.” Because if you remember much of what it was like in the weeks and months after that day, then maybe you remember a little bit about what it was like for folks who even looked like Arabs but weren’t. Because all God-fearing Americans were out for blood, and the blood of anybody who vaguely resembled the enemy would do just fine.

But even if you don’t remember it, you can bet the Arab community does. The metro Detroit area is home to the largest Arab population of anywhere in the United States, so we tend to hear about that kind of thing. Not that we pay anywhere near the amount of attention that we should, but we do hear it. And the minute that crazed fool went on his rampage, the Arabs already knew reflexively that they would have to once again rush to wrap themselves in red, white and blue and start singing the National Anthem everywhere they went, even to the bathroom.

Because right now? Patriotism for Arabs in America isn’t optional, it’s survival.

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux

I think Gary Brown said it best a few nights before receiving enough votes to become Detroit City Council’s President Pro Tem when he said, “I think our city council should be the most boring but effective city council this city has ever seen.”

That’s somewhat of a paraphrase since I didn’t have my pen and notepad with me when I caught that bit of an interview on the TV news sometime last week, but it’s pretty close to what he said, of that I’m sure. And Brown’s meaning was clear as could be, namely that the time for high drama, grade school antics and all related bullshit has come to a close. It’s now time for the adults to take control of city government. Because city government is, after all, grown folks’ business.

Ever since I moved to this city 17 years ago, City Council has been pretty much a joke stocked full of embarrassing, poorly-delivered punch lines as our elected representatives. But on Tuesday, Election Day, even with the predictably low voter turnout, I saw something I didn’t think I would ever see in this city: Detroiters finally got fed up enough with their so-called leaders to do something about it. Instead of griping, grumbling, and grandstanding – and then being consistently MIA at the polls come Election Day, it looks like the people got pissed enough to shed the baggage that’s been dragging this city down for far, far too long.

Although I wish even more incumbents had been swept away (four survived), I still believe it’s a near miraculous occurrence that five of the nine new city council members who will begin their four-year terms come January are all brand new to the crew. And three of those five were the top vote getters, namely Charles Pugh, Gary Brown, and Saunteel Jenkins. Ken Cockrel, the current council president, dropped all the way down to number four.

This is unheard of, man. Seriously. Normally we might get one or two new faces if we’re lucky, but that’s the best we can usually hope for. And last election one of those new faces was Brenda Jones, who one might say is pretty underwhelming at best. She squeaked in at the number nine slot. This time she came in higher, largely, I figure, because folks recognized her name and because she kept her mouth shut and her distance clear from all the mess for four years straight. So they put her in again. Whatever. We’ll see. But the message here is that Detroiters finally said in no uncertain terms, “You clowns have got to go.” And to cap it all off, they voted overwhelmingly in support of district elections to replace the current at-large system which tends to keep incumbents locked in for life and doesn’t allow for a more fair and balanced representation of the city as a whole.

It’s a wonderful thing, and it’s the kinda thing that can make a person cautiously – very cautiously – optimistic. Because now I think we just might have the kind of no drama, no bullshit city council that will focus on the task at hand and not the theatrics, and they now have a mayor with whom it appears is more than willing to develop a good working relationship. And right about now that kind of relationship is more than critical.

And just a word about Mayor Bing, who now has his papers to be Mayor In Full and not just a term finisher; I think Bing will be one of those mayors who may well be reviled and hated publicly by a fair number of vocal groups and individuals who despise the radical cuts he is implementing, among other things. But years down the road he will be clearly identified as a critical turning point in Detroit history when the city finally got back on stable footing. Because no Detroit mayor who dared to do the right thing, the necessary thing, could ever hope to be loved in this town. We’ve been lied to and stroked for so long that we just don’t know how to handle the cold truth except to try and snap its head off. But Bing, a man totally devoid of flash and charisma, simply moves ahead in the face of it all.

Keep in mind that this is a man who declined a salary, who damned sure didn’t need the job, and who has already said he has no intention of running for  a second term In other words, his only reason for taking the job was to clean up the mess. How many folks you know want to be janitor that bad? When was the last time you were just dying to take out the trash – of the whole damned city?

Oh yeah. This really is a new day…

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux

It’s

This one made me have to stop and think for a bit. You know how hard I tried to get some funk up in here, but then I said naw, lemme be good and do the thing right.

Besides, what could ever be more inspirational than Stevie Wonder’s Higher Ground?

And (just as a quick diversion) you gotta love what  the Red Hot Chili Peppers had to say about this…

But now getting back to the meat of the theme of inspiration, this song by Sly and the Family Stone is, to me, one of the greatest inspirational soul tunes of all time…

And then, I mean, you can’t even begin to talk about inspirational music without talkin’ ’bout Curtis Mayfield!

But before we go, check out what my man Jeff Beck had to say about Curtis’ tune…

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux

I say let ‘em strip.

It’s been about a month since I saw any stories in the papers about the latest moral indignation uprising against strip clubs in Detroit, but last I heard the City Council was supposed to be debating whether or not to implement a crackdown. From what’s been reported, if the tightened regulations get approved then customers will most likely have to return to the back alleys to get their groins polished since lap dances will no longer be allowed, plus strippers will have to be kept at least six feet away from customers on  a slightly elevated platform. And that’s just for starters.

I haven’t been in a strip club in more than 20 years, and don’t have any particular burning desire to return. Personally, I never could fathom the attraction of drooling over a fine-looking naked lady gyrating on a stage if I had to share the view with a roomful of other spectators and couldn’t put my hands on her. As for lap dances? Yeah, well. It was entertaining the first few times I went as a kid with my buddies as a right of passage sort of thing. But hey, once the beast gets stirred up, tossing dollar bills on stage or stuffing them in somebody’s garter just isn’t the level of satisfaction I

require.  Let’s just say I’m a hands-on kinda guy. I’ll leave it at that.

But look, this neverending – and completely futile – battle against cashing in on men’s sexual urges in the name of morality is little more than comical. In some ways it’s better entertainment than what you’re likely to see in any one of these clubs. Supposedly outraged pastors and other religious types join together with similarly ‘outraged’ politicians who suddenly discover an aversion to questionable behavior. Go to just about any city in the nation where there are strip clubs and you’ll see this same drama getting re-enacted time after time after time.

Look, this drama has been going on ever since Eve did her first bump and grind for Adam, and anybody who seriously believes that sex entertainment will ever be erased from society to make way for some puritanical definition of morality has a lot to learn about the basic nature of mankind – and about certain politicians. And about certain preachers.

So let them strip, and grind, and whatever. I have no problem whatsoever with restricting where such clubs can be located, and there definitely need to be enforceable rules in place because whenever you combine strippers with alcohol and the male sex drive you had better have some Hulk-sized bouncers in place to make sure that what needs to be enforced gets enforced. Upside somebody’s head if necessary.

But at the end of the day? Men will always pay for sex, and that’s just what is, has always been, and will always be. Not all men, to be sure, but enough that there is no law on earth strong enough to prevent it just like there’s no law on earth strong enough to put an end to the sex drive. It can be a dirty business to be sure, but then I think most adults will concur that sex clubs are hardly the only dirty business around, nor are they by any stretch of the imagination the dirtiest. I’d rather get screwed by a hooker than by (name your disgraced Wall Street corporation here) any day of the week.

Sex is a wonderful thing, but it’s not up to anyone to tell someone else how they should indulge their urge so long as that indulgence isn’t harming anyone else. And if someone wants to pay to satisfy that urge and someone else doesn’t mind getting paid to satisfy it? Let live.

Because in the age when so many companies are disappearing or downsizing, sex is the one business that will always be hiring. And right about now we don’t need to be discovering our morals at the expense of somebody else’s paycheck unless we’ve got another equal paying job ready and waiting in the wings.

But even if you did have that equal job, what damned business is it of yours anyway?

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux

So just as Detroit is gearing up to wash off the stench of the past and vote in a better (hopefully) future tomorrow on Election Day, Tuesday, Nov. 3, who is it comes to town?

Kwame. Naturally.

Here we are doing our level best to forget one of the worst mistakes we ever made as an an electorate (but then how could we have ever known the man would turn out to be that crooked?), looking forward to Election Day as a chance to finally vote in a City Council where the sane members might actually outnumber the fruit loops for the first time since I moved to this city 17 years ago, and who comes to town?

Why, Kwame. Naturally.

But then maybe this is a good thing. Why? Because maybe it will serve as both a reminder and inspiration to all fence-sitting Detroit voters – those who comprise the vast majority of this city’s voting age population – that this is no time to be sitting on anybody’s fence. This is a chance – the first chance we’ve had in a long time – to actually have ourselves represented by a majority of elected leaders who are qualified for the job and aren’t likely to rip us off or embarrass us (too bad). Because in case any of you Detroiters out there forgot what that was like, just take a read of this right here and I’m quite certain it will all come rushing back to you why disgraced ex-mayor Kwame Kilpatrick had to leave town.

Or in case you don’t feel like clicking on the link right now and haven’t read the papers in awhile or listened to the news, here’s what’s up: turns out Kilpatrick received a loan of more than a quarter-million dollars from four of the region’s most prominent businessmen (Compuware’s Peter Karmanos Jr., Quicken Loans’  CEO and Rock Financial Founder Dan Gilbert, automobile mogul Roger Penske, and PVS Chemicals President and CEO Jim Nichols), plus Ambassador Bridge owner Matty Maroun who took ‘pity’ on the poor, downtrodden Kilpatrick clan and gave Carlita Kilpatrick a check for $50,000.

And I am tellin' you, I'm not goin'...

So why did they give him the money? To make sure he left town once he got out of jail.

No. Seriously. That was the reason. They didn’t want him to drag Detroit through the muck and mire of a trial, so they told Kilpatrick that if he would just settle the deal, they would pay him off. Otherwise, apparently, Kilpatrick was prepared to stick it up Detroit’s backside even deeper. In other words, pay up or I’ll keep on raping you until you scream. This from a man who swore to all of us how much he loved Detroit. Like I’ve said before, I sincerely believe the man doesn’t know the difference between love and a good hard fuck. Which is why we’re all paying for his screw-ups right now and will be for awhile.

But here’s the thing I don’t get about the ‘loan’; did they really believe this was necessary to get the man out of here? And were they really that worried about his welfare? And who is the sucker who feels so bad for Kwame that he/she is shelling out more than $3,000 per month for the million dollar mansion he and his family are living in? Because if it’s Kwame making that payment then, like, WTF?  I mean, I’m not saying the man has to live in the projects, but does he need to live next door to JR Ewing? And yet even with his six-figure salary from his new job (also compliments of Peter Karmanos), Kilpatrick is still bitching that he’s in pain because his required restitution of $6,000 per month toward the $1 million he owes us is just too heavy a cross to bear.

Well, yeah, I guess so. When you feel you must live in a million dollar mansion located in one of the  most exclusive gated communities in the nation, and that you must drive a $60,000 Cadillac Escalade plus a $35,000 Chrysler Aspen because simply no other vehicles will do then, well, yeah. I feel your pain. The strain of carrying around all that newly acquired debt while trying to repay $1 million to the City of Detroit has got to be just a bitch, dawg. Seriously.

So you’re gonna vote tomorrow, right?

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux

Songs that make me smile?

Wow….

Y’know, I could stretch this post through to next week, but I’ll be cooperative. Kickin’ it off, so many songs by Funk Overlord George Clinton have kept a smile on my face over the years, but I think this one may have kept that smile in place longer than all the others. Do Fries Go With that Shake…?

And then there’s Jimi, the entire reason I picked up a guitar nearly 40 years ago and followed my dream of playing guitar professionally all these years later. His genius always has and always will keep me smiling and reaching…

Then to wrap it up, this song makes me smile ’cause it really cuts to the heart of the misfit status of the black rock musician.The name of the album? “Black Radio Won’t Play This Record”

And damned if they weren’t right…

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux

For years now, going all the way back to the days of King Coleman A. Young (and I don’t mean that in an ugly way), Detroit has been struggling with all kinda ways to juggle the numbers so that it didn’t look like we were shrinking as fast as we really were. It wasn’t a pride thing, it was a money thing. The fewer residents counted by the U.S. Census, the fewer cash dollars we would get from Washington. Detroit has been broke for a long time. Consequently, we knew we could not afford to lose any source of revenue whatsoever. Thus the ongoing battle to pad the numbers any which way we could. Shit, if we could count the family dog we most damned sure certainly would have found a way. This is about survival.

So anyway, once it became somewhat clear that there were only so many ways to squeeze and stretch that new math so that 4 somehow becomes equal to 24 (just as an example) then it was on to a whole other numbers game – a much more hands-on and physical game – of flushing out all the Detroiters from between the nooks and crannies and into the light of day where they could be counted and accounted for – and then cashed out. Because Detroit has always been a damned hard place to count, just like it’s a damned hard place to conduct an accurate poll during Election Time. Just ask any local politician. In Detroit a poll quite often doesn’t mean shit, because so many Detroiters are off the grid. That’s why the mighty pollsters were so sure back in 2005 that Kwame would be crushed beneath the unstoppable power of the Freeman Hendrix onslaught, and that he would shrivel down to the size of a one-term loser. Their polls told them so, and therefore it simply had to be true.

Except that Kwame knew how to work the street, and the ’street’ is off the grid. And so Kwame beat Freeman and that was that.

Same thing with the Census, to a degree, at least when it comes to what really is and what appears to be what really is but ain’t. In other words, if you count Detroit like you count most normal cities, then you’ll wind up undercounting the actual numbers of people here by, I’m guessing, somewhere in the high five-digit range. And I’m not just talking about all the homeless people wandering around aimlessly that get missed. I’m talking about the folks who don’t answer phones and don’t answer doors and who don’t trust no MF’in Census ’cause what the FUCK is a GOT damned census anyway??

Where are all the Detroiters..??

Saying all that to say that the only way to get the right count is – as seems to be the new plan – to take a comprehensive and multi-pronged approach that takes into account the, how shall I say? ‘Unique’ Detroit factor. I love the hell out of this city, but it can be both strange and beautiful and deadly all at the same time. And if you don’t adjust your stride for that factor when out strolling around then who knows what you might miss – or what might not miss you.

Which is why, getting down to it,  Detroiters are suspicious. It’s because they have to be and had better be because they have always been because that’s what keeps them one-step ahead of the knife. So when somebody comes asking who you are and do you live here and who else is in there with you then all sorts of bells go off with your average Detroiter because he/she can already hear the four alarms going off just from stone-cold instinct even if the Census taker can’t.

Which is why, if the Census really wants to count all the Detroiters this time around? Then they better get a little better acquainted with the street – or hire someone who is.

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux

The reflex action exhibited by a lot of Detroiters when Time magazine made the decision to camp out in our front yard and begin filing stories on our demise was shock, rage, horror, dismay.

Etc.

And while I do understand that reflex, because like most Detroiters I have grown bitterly accustomed to the onslaught of stories telling all of us what a pathetic lot we must be to be in the situation we’re in, I also think that sometimes you have to put your reflexes in check. Because while it’s true that Time’s overwhelming focus has been on what’s wrong, we at some point have to ask ourselves the question of, well, maybe  isn’t there a reason why a national magazine has taken such an interest?

And we might also want to remind ourselves that although we as Detroiters will always be more conscious of the reasons why we continue to love and believe in this city than anyone who doesn’t live here will ever understand, we would have to be doubly blind not to see just how bad things are for us overall. I say this because we can’t honestly hope to ever pull ourselves out of this hole until we are honest with ourselves about how deep this Grand Canyon really is.

That being said (I really didn’t intend for that long of an intro to get to the point? But then that’s the cool thing about blogs is you got more room to speculatively ramble while your brain tries to figure out where you’re going with all this), there does finally appear to be some relatively good news on the Assignment Detroit site worth repeating for the benefit of all of us who have a problem with murder. According to one of the site’s subsections  called “The Detroit Blog: One Year. One City. Endless Opportunities), Mayor Bing and Detroit Police Chief Warren Evans held a press conference today where they were able to report that the number of homicides in Detroit dropped by 16 percent – from 111 this time last year to 96 currently – and that 60 percent of our city’s homicides have been solved during the third quarter of this year, which is up from a rather dismal 35 percent during that same period one year ago. And it’s not insignificant to note that this measure of improvement is happening with a police force that has been chopped down by 25 % due to the ongoing budget crisis.

So while I’m quite sure Time will continue to keep the light shining on our festering wounds, they deserve a bit of credit here for at least making an effort to bring some of the better news to light as well. As for the festering wounds, it wasn’t Time that put them there. So screw the cameras and the furiously scribbling scribes. This ain’t the first time we’ve dealt with that. We’ve got some patching up to do.

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux

No, you’re right. Losing the 3-time WNBA championship woman’s basketball team the Detroit Shock to Tulsa, Oklahoma isn’t like we’re losing a real team. I mean hell, it’s only women’s basketball, right? Since when were women ever considered to be real athletes worth paying for or crying over?

But hey, if we’d lost the Detroit Lions to Tulsa…? The Lions? Now that right there would have been a serious tragedy. Not so much for loss of  the team because, well, I mean damn. Get serious. Who’s gonna miss that? But after all that  money we spent to build Ford Field? Sheeeeeittt.  Those Lions are chained to Detroit until Jesus comes back driving a Ford Escort.

So what does it all mean, Mr. Wizard?

It means we just need to keep pretending that whatever professional sport grown-assed men are participating in, even if they never win a game, it is, by definition, a real, fully legitimate, professional sport deserving full and complete fan support accompanied by full and complete pro athlete salaries. It means that if the stadium concessions charge us $12 dollars for hot dogs and $7 for beer then we can rest comfortably and well- assured that we are witnessing a real sports team in action.

Oh. And do try to ignore that raging soreness that feels like a flaming red-hot poker being shoved not ever-so-gently at all  straight up your wildly protesting rectum, the same soreness that’s got you walking bow-legged like a bigscreen cowboy…who starred in Brokeback Mountain. Just keep clicking your heels and repeating, “There’s no place like Tulsa, there’s no place like Tulsa…”

The real Shock should be how calmly we're watching this great team be taken from us. The Shock deserved so much better from Detroit - and they deserve a hell of a lot better than Tulsa.

SHAMELESS PLUG: Read my wife’s blog @ The “D” Spot Redeux